What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Mojo – And You Can’t Seem to Get It Back!
You can listen to the article here.
This is an article that appeared earlier this week in a monthly column that I write for “Balance” A magazine for Montana women…
Have you ever experienced times in your life where things were unfolding with ease, and life seemed to be humming along just great when suddenly, without 
warning, your “good fortune” came to a screeching halt and you found yourself feeling stuck and stagnant?
It’s easy to feel positive and joyful when things are going your way – but it’s another thing entirely to find your way back to joy when you’re caught in a cycle of frustration and struggle. During these times it’s easy to sink deeper into self-blame, guilt and pity.
This feeling of stuck-ness could present itself in a variety of ways: Maybe you run your own business and you’ve experienced a huge flux of income and then all of a sudden clients or projects stop coming your way and you find yourself waking up in the middle of night wondering where your next “paycheck” is going to come from.
Maybe you’ve landed that new, perfect job that’s going to solve all your problems and then shortly after you realize it’s not so perfect after all. Or perhaps you’ve experienced many years of exceptional health and all of a sudden find yourself struggling with bad health, or you’ve been in a fantastic relationship that suddenly becomes less than ideal, or you go through the grief of the passing of a loved one.
So what do you do when you realize that you’ve lost your mojo and how do you get it back? A while ago I found myself struggling with this very question. I hated to admit it to myself, but I couldn’t deny it – incredibly, I was energetically and emotionally STUCK. Life had been humming along beautifully …I was experiencing dramatic leaps in my business and then all of a sudden the flow just seemed to stop.
Money stopped coming in and I found myself struggling to recreate the excitement and anticipation that I had experienced before. This in turn affected other areas of my life. I wasn’t inspired to exercise as much nor did I feel as loving or close to my family and friends. Try as I might I just couldn’t seem to shake this for myself. But with time I moved through my stuck-ness and leaped into another new level of growth in my business.
I’d like to share what I learned so that you can apply this to any situation that you find yourself stuck in and that you’re ready to shift…
One of the main reasons we get stuck is because we get caught up in an internal conversation about our circumstances that we believe is accurately describing reality, but in truth it’s just an interpretation. We’re unable to discern “what actually happened and what’s real” from the meaning that we’ve given things. And then we spiral downward as we buy into our meaning or interpretation. This ironically is how we begin to experience the exact circumstance that we wanted to avoid in the first place.
Several years ago I had an injury to what I thought was my hamstring… I couldn’t walk a quarter of a mile without experiencing pain. Everyone I talked to told me how difficult it was to heal from hamstring injuries.
I got caught up in an internal conversation that sounded something like, “I’m never going to be able to run again or go hiking- I’ll never be able to heal from this injury. Everyone says it’s really difficult, so I’ll probably be injured for the rest of my life.” I wasn’t very motivated to get help because I felt my situation was hopeless.
But then I realized that this was just an internal conversation I was having and that it wasn’t really TRUE! It was a conversation I created out of fear. So I asked myself what step I felt inspired to take – I called my chiropractor, made an appointment and the next day after the appointment I was able to walk a mile easily – and within a week I was running again!
Difficult situations often require that you surrender to the full range of the feelings and experiences that you’re having from your “stuck place.” There are times when no amount of self-help books, advice from loving friends and well-meaning spouses, tools, tips and tricks will work. Nothing seems to bring relief from your pain and struggle.
During these times you are being called to surrender and embrace the experience that you’re going through instead of trying to change it or make it into something different.
Consider this as an opportunity for you to go through it, without resisting your feelings and emotions trusting that they will eventually shift as a result of fully experiencing them. You’re probably familiar with the saying, “what you resist, persists.” So if you’re resisting your feelings – that’s when you usually will get stuck with them.
When this has happens for me I give myself permission not to have a perfect day or even a perfect week (if needed). During these times I declare, and sometimes out loud if I’m by myself, “It’s okay for this day to be imperfect – today is going to be a perfectly, imperfect day!”
What this does is that it immediately lessens my resistance to the experience that I’m having and allows my judgments about it to drop. As a result the “fog” or “funk” that I was in seems to magically lift on it’s own – before I know it my mood feels lighter and I find myself back in the flow again.
Remember, every situation is actually an opportunity to hold an internal conversation of possibility – REGARDLESS of the current circumstance is that you find yourself in. The key is to keep your attitude from being shaped by your circumstances – and instead to be determined by YOU – REGARDLESS of your external circumstance.
James Allen, the author of “As a man Thinketh” has a wonderful quote in his book, “Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.”
On the opposite side of every challenge lies the opportunity for huge breakthroughs and even greater growth as the authors of our own lives.
When we hold a future that is grim it often follows we become resigned, unmotivated and stuck in thinking that nothing will really make a difference. Conversely, it’s when we hold a future of possibility that is exciting to us and we allow our feelings and emotions to be there without resisting them that we naturally transform back to motivated action, regain flow and our mojo. This is true power.
What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Mojo – And You Can’t Seem to Get It Back! – Podcast
Have you ever experienced times in your life where things were unfolding with ease, and life seemed to be humming along just great when suddenly, without warning, your “good fortune” came to a screeching halt and you found yourself feeling stuck and stagnant?
Click below to listen to the podcast
No Time to Tend to The Financial Priorities In Your Life? Take a Lesson From Your Dirty Dishes!
Click here to listen to the podcast.
“Did you clear your dishes yesterday?” Yes… you heard me correctly, and no, this is not your mother speaking. 
Tell me…what was the last thing you did yesterday when you quit working?
Seriously, take a moment to reflect. Did you finish a major project, and with a huge sigh of relief turn off the lights and close the office door? Did you finish working with a client and rush home to tend to your evening tasks of making dinner or doing laundry?
In other words, how do you end your workday? Did you end it consciously? Because, if you didn’t then you left grimy dishes on the table. And you know what happens when you leave dishes on the table overnight don’t you? Of course you do! You wake up to find that – no, the little elves did not clean them – they are still there, just more difficult to clean. Learn how you can end your workday consciously so that you have time to tend to the financial priorities in your life.
A Secret That Will Increase Your Productivity
Do you sometimes feel burdened when you start your new day? Do your tasks feel jumbled in your head and overwhelming? And then the inevitable happens — the phone rings, and before you know it, you’re frantically racing around putting out fires. Meanwhile, you feel increasingly stressed because your important tasks haven’t been taken care of. So you hurriedly scribble down a to-do list. But because you’re preoccupied you can’t even think it through very clearly.
I’m going to let you in on a simple secret that can improve your productivity. I call it “clearing the grimy dishes.” In other words, what unclean dishes do you need to tend to in your business before you leave for the day? I’ll give you a hint: the most effective dish-clearing task is to write a “to-do list” for the next day. We’re all familiar with this concept, right? But, do you do it? And do you do it consistently?
If you were to write out a “to-do list” at the end of your work day you gain instant satisfaction and relief in knowing that what you didn’t accomplish today will be taken care of tomorrow. It also allows you to subconsciously mull over certain tasks. Sometimes a more creative solution will come to you overnight. And the extra time allows you to prioritize your tasks.
Simple Steps for Creating a To Do List 1. Prioritize First, write down the things that need to be done. Then prioritize and rank your tasks. Put a number beside each task with #1 being the most important. Accomplish your tasks in that order.
2. Do the most dreaded task first Often we put off the task that we dread the most. However, if you accomplish it first, you will feel energized and have more energy to accomplish your other tasks.
3. Write a New List Daily Instead of recycling the same list, write a new list each day. This will give you a clean slate each morning. Write down any tasks that you didn’t accomplish from the previous day and additional tasks that you hope to achieve that day.
What Else Needs to be Tended to Before You Close Shop for the Day?
Besides writing a to-do list what are some other simple ways to clear your dishes? Maybe it’s straightening up your desk or filing papers. You’d be surprised – these simple tasks can make a huge difference in your productivity and freeing up mental clutter.
Keep it Simple Be careful not to overload yourself with a multitude of tasks to accomplish before you quit work for the day. Keep it simple. Writing your list should take less than 10 minutes. And it should take you less than 20 minutes total to accomplish any other “end of the day tasks.”
Clearing the Dishes, Clears Your Mind Now you can wake up in the morning and feel motivated and organized. You’ll know exactly what to focus on and no longer waste time on non-priority projects. If you find yourself faced with a surprise task you’ll know exactly which project to dive into once you deal with your crisis. Not only will you be more productive, but you’ll feel more relaxed and in control.
I guess Mom really knew what she was talking about after all!
Money Problems: Financial Honesty is the Secret to Achieving Financial Security
Many of my clients have been undergoing some powerful transformations lately as a result of becoming “Financially Honest”. Read more
Discover Your Friendly “Yes” To Money
I could feel my client’s voice BEAMING on the other side of the phone:
“I’ve been thinking about our work together and it’s caused me to explore my yeses and no’s around money.
What instantly comes to mind for me is my ‘unfriendly no’ in regards to money. My unfriendly no doesn’t give me any choices. My unfriendly no says ‘no’ to creating a spending plan – or a budget. My unfriendly no says that a spending plan will strangle me – that sticking to a spending plan means I’ll have to deprive myself for the rest of my life and say ‘no, no, no, no’ to everything.
The Unfriendly and Resentful “No”
My unfriendly no makes me feel deprived, angry and resentful. It falsely leads me to believe that I must resign myself to living a life of lack, that I can’t ever do anything fun. My unfriendly no is controlling and tells me that my life is going to be filled with misery and I’ll never have enough money. And because life is destined to be so miserable, and this is as good as it gets, why not splurge and live it up a little and have some fun?
My unfriendly no is a very intimate friend to my ‘unfriendly yes’ that says ‘yes’ to everything. I do this because I feel so bad that I’ve said ‘no’ and denied myself for the past several days (or hours) to myself or to my children.”
At this point Nancy paused, took a deep breath, and then went on to excitedly share:
The Supportive and Friendly “Yes”
“I’m experiencing a huge breakthrough around what a friendly yes is like. My friendly yes says that working a spending plan can create freedom for me. My friendly yes reassures me that a spending plan doesn’t have to be difficult and painful. It lets me know that it’s okay to buy clothes and necessities for my children and me. My friendly yes says ‘yes’ to life, and ‘yes’ to the unlimited possibilities of what I want to create, be and do. It gives me freedom! And my friendly yes also has a close friend as well. It is a close friend to my friendly no.
My friendly no is filled with choice, compassion and understanding. It says, ‘Let’s say no to this, but let’s say yes to these other things.’ My friendly no empowers me with the opportunity to make wise money choices so that I can experience true freedom. A friendly no can gently guide me and provide me with hope and security.
What I now realize is that I can choose to use my friendly yes and no in each moment. My friendly yes and friendly no support me in saying ‘yes’ to life. They are here to guide me to true freedom and the truest enjoyment of my money!”
* Names have been changed in this story
Your 1-Minute Action Step
Write down your responses to the following questions:
- What are the images and thoughts that come up for you when you think of saying “no” in regards to money or financial decisions?
- What are the images and thoughts that come up for you when you think of saying “yes” in regards to money or financial decisions?
- What are the internal conversations that come up around your unfriendly yes and unfriendly no?
- What are the internal conversations that come up around your friendly yes and friendly no?
- How might you become more empowered around managing money if you respond with your friendly yes and friendly no?
Train yourself to recognize when you respond with your unfriendly yes and no and choose a friendly yes or no instead.
Learn how to create a positive relationship with money so that you take the financial action you need to take Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
What Really Determines Successful Financial Action?
When it comes to money problems and getting our finances in order to create prosperity and wealth we logically conclude that the most important thing is for us to take action – or to DO something. And then we think that the action is what is going to support us in HAVING what it is that we want. We think that if we spend money according to our budget, increase our income or get rid of our debt that these actions will support us in acquiring more money. So we get determined and muster up our will power go take the action that we know we need to take.
But then we find ourselves running up against a wall when our beliefs and behaviors get in the way of taking the action that we know we need to take. We know that we “should” stick to our budget, yet we find ourselves spontaneously making large purchases on things that aren’t on our budget. We know that we “should” be able to increase our income, yet we don’t believe we actually can. As a result we don’t take action.
What Gets In the Way of Achieving Prosperity and Wealth
Our behaviors frequently get in the way of “right” action and create money problems for us. This is because we mistakenly believe that action is the source of creating results. Because we believe that action is the source of results we fail to focus on the true source of results, which is who we’re BEING.
Being is what influences the actions that we take. When I say “being”. I’m referring to what is actually operating for us at the level of our beliefs, thoughts and emotions. Let’s say you’re self-employed and you know you need to make more money – yet you also believe that it’s impossible to make more money or bring in new clients in today’s current economy.
However, you know you need to take action so you go out and make cold calls, knock on people’s doors and advertise. The problem is that you’re taking action from a place of being “It’s not possible to make money in today’s economy.” This results in a lot of action, but little to show for it.
One of my clients believed that a spending plan would deprive her of freedom and that it would always be difficult to stick to. Because of this she kept coming up with “justifiable excuses” for putting off creating her spending plan.
How To Create a Financial Breakthrough
It was until we talked about who she was “being” in regards to her spending plan that she was able to see that sticking to her spending plan could actually provide her with the freedom she truly desired and give her the ability to make more conscious choices. She had a phenomenal breakthrough and was instantly motivated into action.
If you’re taking financial action, but not getting the results you desire in your life. Take a moment to reflect on “who you are being” in regards to money. It is by looking at who you’re being that you can transform yourself from being the mouse on the proverbial hamster wheel into taking action from a place of inspiration, ease and effortlessness.
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
From Financial Challenges to Financial Celebrations – Penleope’s Story in Her Own Words
It’s amazing to recall all the struggles I used to experience around money. One of my biggest challenges was my 
overall lack of knowledge about finances—I felt completely inadequate and money management seemed very complicated… Something other people were capable of succeeding at but not me.
I believed that I would never be successful at balancing the constant onslaught of money demands and needs for our large family (my husband and I have four girls).
I was afraid that if I took an honest look at our family’s expenses in relation to our income, I would feel like we had nothing to hang our hats on. I also experienced a lot of resentment. I blamed my financial inadequacies on my girls—my excuse was that I was too busy taking care of them to sit down and create a budget.
I also blamed my husband for not making more and managing better. I resented that he made the majority of the money decisions in our family.”
Through our work with Leslie I realized that the reason my husband had more say with our finances was because I gave him more say. He made the money decisions because I wasn’t willing to step up and assume more responsibility! And yet I was secretly afraid that if I assumed more financial responsibility our situation would get worse and I would feel overburdened.
I experienced a breakthrough when through Leslie’s coaching and support I realized that I actually suffered more when I didn’t step up and assume financial responsibility. Ironically, when I started taking on more responsibility around money I felt lighter, freer, and more empowered.
The Financial Freedom Light at the End of the Tunnel
Working with Leslie has brought me the confidence and peace around money that I never knew I could have. Learning to create a spending plan was especially empowering for me. A spending plan gives us the flexibility to decide how we’re going to spend our money each month based on our needs and wants for a given month.
Instead of being locked into a budget that remains the same month after month, we decide each month exactly how we spend our money. We base our decisions on our past month’s spending (which we track closely, looking at how much we spend in each area of our lives).
Creating our Financial Headquarters
One of the actions we took that made the biggest impact on our lives was creating what Leslie refers to as our ‘financial headquarters.’ We now have a specific place we keep our mail, our bills, our ‘bill pay calendar’ (which lists all our bill due dates) as well as an organizer that contains all the necessary items for paying bills like stamps, staplers, envelopes, pens and post-it notes.
During the week I open the day’s mail and sort it in the proper place, making sure the bill due dates are recorded correctly on our bill pay calendar. I recycle the day’s junk mail. Every week my husband and I sit down together and look at our bill-pay calendar to see what bills we need to pay. We have truly created order out of chaos.
I used to equate spending money with love. I thought that if I began to take control of my finances and reign in my spending habits I would be withholding love and freedom from my girls, our family, and myself. But much to my surprise I discovered that love is really about being more conscious about my money decisions.
I realized that I’m not being loving when I randomly purchase things and don’t have a clear sense of how much I’m spending and what impact it will have. I’ve learned I can say “no” from a loving and supportive space. Saying “no” to an unplanned dinner out means that I get to say yes to something else that is more meaningful to me – like paying down our debt.
Creating a Break Through With Money
This work has been an amazing transformational process for me. Just this last Christmas my teenage daughter told me that this had been one of the best Christmas’s ever. Instead of fighting over money, my husband and I had a clear plan for our spending and were working together as a financial team.
Our commitment to our financial journey and working with Leslie has not only resulted in us getting rid of over $3,000 in debt but it has improved our relationship. And because of that my husband and I are able to be role models of true financial responsibility for our girls. I can’t imagine a better legacy to pass on to our children.
. Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWed., March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
How I Got Out of Debt, Got on the Same Page and Started Building Wealth
I came into this work shortly after my husband and I were married. Like many newlyweds, we did many things that caused us to go into debt. I quit my secure job to spend time on the road with my husband, who is a professional singer/songwriter.
This was an amazing time for both of us. We then honeymooned in New Zealand and had some wonderful adventures that still cause me to laugh and fill me with joy when I think about them.
Eight months later, when we came home, I remember walking back to the house after collecting the afternoon mail. I started flipping through the envelopes. I saw a credit card statement, another credit card statement and our bank statements. It was in that moment that I felt a deep tension in the pit of my stomach.
I realized that even though I had married the man that I absolutely loved and adored, I really didn’t have a clear sense of how he handled money and how the two of us were going to blend our different approaches to handling money in our marriage. I was very organized, detailed and more frugal with money. He was more of a laid-back free spirit type. I also knew that getting on the same financial page was a key factor in creating a successful marriage and financial future.
Going Out On a Limb
I asked my husband if he would be willing to set up a time each week to talk about our finances and develop a plan for getting rid of our credit card debt (we had acquired over $43,300 in credit card debt over a three year period). My husband said he would be willing to do this. He was skeptical—but willing.
We came to refer to our weekly meetings with each other as our Financial Dates®. After we would complete a Financial Date, both of us felt surprisingly uplifted and empowered.
As a result of having our Dates we completely paid off all of our credit card debt within two years, started funding our retirement accounts, quit arguing about money, gained a solid understanding of our cash flow and created a spending plan that both of us were motivated to stick to. That was just the tip of the iceberg. And you know what—those changes didn’t really surprise me that much.
What completely surprised me was the synergy that my husband and I experienced when working together to achieve our financial goals and dreams. We wouldn’t have experienced this in our relationship had we not come together with a unified goal of improving our finances as a team—not individually, but as a team. This added an entirely new dimension to our relationship. I began to think of these Financial Dates as our own holistic approach to money and marriage success.
“Leslie, It’s Imperative That You Share This with the World!”
I was sharing the details of one of our Financial Dates with my mentor coach at the time, and she stopped me in mid-sentence, and exclaimed, “Leslie, you have so much excitement and passion around this Financial Dating concept and it’s an amazing idea. You have got to share it with the world!”
So with her encouragement, I completed my training to become a professional certified coach so that I could teach this process to others. I received my credentials through Coach Training Alliance, which is accredited through the International Coaching Federation. I then began to teach our Financial Dating Process to other couples.
Financial Dating® Created Financial Success for Other Couples
I remember one particular call I received from a man on a cold Montana day. He sounded overwhelmed and frustrated. He said, “Leslie, I heard about you through a friend of mine and you sound exactly like the person that we’re looking for. I really want to talk to you about finances and how to make this work in our marriage.” I invited him to attend a Financial Dating class I was teaching.
After the class he walked me outside and said, “You are the person that we’ve been praying for. I walked out of the house last week and it was the worst fight that my wife and I had had, and I swore to her, I promised her that I would find somebody who could help us, and you’re that person.”
I put together a Financial Dating class and he got together several other couples and I started teaching them how to have Financial Dates. One year later he shared with me that for the first time in 14 years he and his wife had finally put a clamp on the internal hemorrhaging in their finances. They willingly changed their destructive money behaviors, stopped charging to their credit cards, paid off $13,779 of debt, put $4,879 into an emergency savings account and saved over $51,200 in interest by transferring a personal loan. He also shared that he felt significantly closer to his wife. If they could do it, you can too.
Living a Fulfilling Life that’s in Alignment with Our Deeply Held Values
I have come to realize that successful money management is so much more than just paying off debt, buying a new home and stashing more money away in our retirement accounts. True financial success is about living a life that is in alignment with our most cherished values. It’s easy to say that we value our health, marriage, children, friends and family. But when we step back and look at how we spend our time and money, we’ll see that we often don’t spend it on the things that are most important to us. There’s nothing like money to easily pull us off track.
We have to stop and define what financial success means to us. I believe that true financial success is about having a life that is filled with life enriching experiences and time for the relationships that really matter. That means slowing down and not working so hard. Financial success is about the lives we touch and the lasting memories we make. It’s about spending less, giving more and living more.
Discover how you’re creating your current financial situation with your spouse…
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
Marriage and Money Problems: What to Do When You Have Money Conflicts
“I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating it’s been having a partner who says, ‘yes, yes, yes’ and then doesn’t come through! My husband just won’t do his financial homework. I’ve loved and encouraged him when he chooses positive financial behaviors but somehow it’s still too scary or hard for him to own his part. It doesn’t matter how much I encourage, cheerlead, or try to convince him otherwise. He says he’ll work on his finances but then he doesn’t follow through. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?”
A client sent this email to me. I completely understood her frustration and overwhelm. Unfortunately her situation isn’t unique. This is a common complaint that I hear from couples.
Get curious about your reactivity
“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”—this is usually our first reaction when we experience marriage conflict and money problems and our partner does something that we don’t like. And when it’s in the financial arena it can drive us absolutely bonkers because it’s so directly tied to our survival fears. Our reactive reptilian brain kicks in producing fearful thoughts like, “I’m all alone with this—he doesn’t care,” “He’s going to put me in the poor house” and “If it wasn’t for me we’d be totally broke.”
So we defer to our control tactics. We resort to our learned behaviors that supported us in getting what we wanted in the past. We cheerlead, “Come on honey–I know you can do it. I sincerely believe in you. You’ve got what it takes.” Or we get angry, “I can’t stand it anymore. You are so inept.” Or we rationalize, “He’s just like this because his parents were like this.”
In the area of finances the greatest challenge is to resist the urge to point our fingers at our partners and take the opportunity to do our own personal work.
Stress equals opportunity
In the book, Loving What Is, Byron Katie says: “Every stressful moment you experience is a gift that points you to your own freedom.” If you feel reactive it’s a sure sign that you’re being given the opportunity to look inward, investigate, grow and learn something new about yourself. This is actually the secret to transforming yourself and your situation. It actually isn’t about getting your partner or situation to change. As long as we believe that it is about our partner we will continue to stay stuck. And yet ironically, when we focus on our inner healing, our relationships and challenging life situations “miraculously” transform.
Most of our reactivity comes from our inner resistance to having a relationship with what is. Something happens and in a split second our minds spin out of control and add stories that we instantly and mistakenly take on as being “the truth.” Most of us have gotten so good at telling stories that we’re no longer able to separate fact from fiction.
My mentor, Jim Bergquist, shared a situation about a boss that he had worked for in the past. Several times a week his boss would go into an emotional tirade after reading the daily paper. His boss would stomp into the office and yell his frustrations at one of the employees–usually Jim. Jim would think: “This guy is a lunatic!” “What is wrong with him?” “How come he doesn’t like me?” After many painful episodes with his boss, Jim made the decision to stay completely present the next time his boss yelled at him. Jim also made the commitment to drop his internal story and judgments about his boss. After a few days the opportunity presented itself. This time, as his boss was yelling, Jim stayed completely present to the experience. He noticed that his boss had a gold crown on one of his back teeth. He saw a vein with a bluish tint popping out on the right side of his forehead. He observed the spit as it came flying out of his boss’s mouth. Then all of a sudden his boss stopped in mid-sentence, looked at Jim, turned around and walked into his office—he never yelled at Jim or anyone else again.
Having a relationship with What Is
When Jim was able to be completely present with what is, without resistance to his situation and without adding any additional stories, assessments or judgments, Jim experienced an internal transformation. This in turn supported his boss in being present, which gave his boss sudden access and insight into how ridiculous he was being.
My client who emailed me was able to notice her internal story about the way she felt her husband “should be showing up with finances.” She also knew that what she wanted most was for her husband to speak his truth. The two of them engaged in a conversation where they shared openly and honestly with each other. Her husband shared the ways in which he genuinely wanted to be involved with the family finances and the ways in which he did not. And together they created a new way to work on the family finances that resonated for both of them.
Whenever we experience reactivity to the people or situations in our lives, we are being given the golden opportunity to look inward–instead of outward. It is through our own personal exploration and transformation that our life situations and relationships magically transform as well.
