7 Mistakes Married Female Entrepreneurs Make in Their Marriage That Cause Them to Seek Financial Help
In coaching entrepreneurial women and their spouses to create financial success in their marriages I’ve noticed that there are 7 common money mistakes that married female entrepreneurs make that cause them to seek financial help.
The first mistake they make is constantly arguing with their partner about money and getting stuck in a blaming and complaining cycle – and they feel clueless as to how to get out of it.
Mistake number two is barely making enough money and feeling like they’re just scraping by each month. That begin to feel resentful that they have difficulty meeting their monthly expenses and resentful that they don’t have enough money to put toward savings, retirement funds, education funds or to put towards their big dreams and goals.
Mistake number three is that they struggle with not be able to increase their income.
Mistake number four is that they end up relying on their spouse to generate the monthly income because they don’t see themselves as being powerful money creators. They tend to see themselves more as money managers and so they rely on their partners to bring in the income difference. Eventually the main breadwinner feels resentful and this puts additional stress on the relationship.
Mistake number five is having a business that is more like a hobby. They experience inner conflict because while they are passionate about their business they’re not clear on how to generate serious income from it. They feel like they need to buckle up and get serious about their business or give it up for good.
Mistake number six is that they get stuck in perpetuating money problems because when they talk to their partner about money, they find themselves becoming reactive and frustrated because they feel like their partner isn’t supportive of their business, let alone supportive of them investing in growing their business. And they feel like their partner doesn’t take their business very seriously.
Mistake number seven is waking up in the middle of the night stressing about where the next months income is going to come from. This creates a huge drain on their ability to focus their creative energy on growing their business.
Getting on the same page with your partner makes good financial sense and business sense
The solution to these 7 money mistakes is to get on the same page with your partner. This is just as important as investing in your business. This approach can dramatically increase business income as well as improve their financial relationship with your partner.
You can learn more about how to overcome these 7 common money mistakes that entrepreneurial women make with their spouses on my free webinar that I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Just go to Financial Dating.com/revolution to learn more.
This webinar is for all couples who are in a committed relationship and it is especially designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time.
Once again the link is Financial Dating.com/revolution. I sincerely look forward to seeing you there – this information has the power to transform your financial life
Money Emotions Don’t Have to Hold You Back
Many of us fail to realize how money emotions hold us back in our financial life. Whether it’s getting rid
of debt, making more money or sticking to a budget money affects our emotions. We identify our financial goals and then we go about taking action to achieve our those goals. Meanwhile there is this sense of internal pressure and frantic inside us. Sometimes our bodies react by causing us to break out in hives or rashes. Or sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night with tightness in our chest.
I’ve had clients who had never experienced stress before in their lives say that after going through a financial crisis that they now instantly register stress in their bodies. I know for me, my stress usually registers as tightness in my neck or throat area. When we get these sensations we think that our circumstances are causing our stressful feelings.
One of my clients thought that looking at her numbers and spending plan was causing her stress. Or that the need to please me (her coach) and “do her financial work in the right way.” Was causing her stress.
I had another client who had over $75,000 in debt at one point (I’m happy to report that he and his wife have completed gotten rid of their debt through our work together!). He thought that the debt was causing his stress. Yes, financial circumstances TRIGGER our emotions – but we are constantly called to remember that they are not the CAUSE of our feelings and emotions.
We are actually the source or cause our feelings and emotions based on our interpretations of our life situations. Ironically though we often believe our interpretations to be “the truth.” We think our interpretations are merely describing or reflecting our reality. But this is practically never the case. We interpret things a certain way because of our past experiences.
My client experienced a huge breakthrough when she realized that the source of her pressure was not me (her coach), or her spending plan, or the desire to increase her income, but that the she was the source of the pressure. She realized that she frequently experienced pressure and the desire to do things right in many areas of her life beyond finances (which is frequently the case). All of a sudden when she saw that she was the source she became aware that she also had the power to change it. When she believed it “was out there” she had no power to change it. By realizing that she was the cause of her emotional response, she was able to take responsibility, alter the way she interpreted her situation and move from overwhelm into appropriate financial action.
If you want to learn more about how you can move past the money emotions that hold you back from taking the financial action you know you need to take click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
3 Essential Principles to Building True Wealth Through Changing Your Money Paradigm
We’ve been taught that creating wealth requires years of personal sacrifice: to work long hours and not have time for ourselves, our 
relationships, and the things that matter most. This paradigm, or map of reality, focuses on the end result at the expense of our quality of life. Wealth is separate from our selves, something “out there” for us to strive to grasp and own.
I invite you to experience a paradigm shift, where you engage in the world of money while creating both financial wealth and a quality of richness in your being and relationships.
A New Definition of Wealth
Your efforts to gain wealth can be an authentic and holistic process — an exploration and discovery of your true self. I call this “True Wealth.”
True Wealth can be attained through:
- Setting aside time for yourself and to nurture your spirit
- Creating connecting relationships
- Taking effective financial action
Picture these as three individual circles. Each circle interlocks with the others. In the center, where all three circles join, lies True Wealth. By standing in this center, you will set aside time for self and your spirit, create rich and connecting relationships with others, and take effective financial action in the world.
The Secret to Creating Richness of Being
We can create a richness of being by connecting with spirit. Spirit is the unseen part of us that fuels our sense of aliveness, allowing us to feel the depth and fullness of life. By carving out personal time for ourselves, slowing down and listening deeply through all our senses, we can connect with spirit. By doing this we live our life in a more rewarding way and are more easily able to follow our unique blue print for creating wealth and powerful change.
Building Financial Success Through Connection With Spirit
People have many different names and definitions for what they think of as “spirit”. Whatever we call it, think of spirit as the source that can transform our lives. Wayne Dyer says “Within the dormant acorn seed lies an infinity of forests.” Think of spirit as the “Miracle Grow” for your small acorn seed dreams. By paying attention to and nurturing our selves our connection with spirit will become stronger, and we will come to know our unique blueprint for financial and personal success.
How Spirit Can Affect Your Financial Success
Often the way we handle our money is similar to the way we approach our lives -and the way we approach our lives is an indication of how we treat ourselves and how well we connect with spirit. Some people are controlling and frugal with money, and tend to approach life in a similar way. They have difficulty trusting and tend to over-think and over-plan each aspect of their lives. Not surprisingly, they may try to control how their partner spends money. They likely have a difficult time relaxing and exploring their own creativity. For them, and for all of us, in order to create a different picture, we need to become aware of how we handle our money, our relationships and our lives. By doing this we will begin to notice how, when and if we feel a connection with spirit.
Simple Action Steps You Can Take Now:
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar on March 30th, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
You can also write out your responses to the following questions:
1. How do you handle your money? Do you worry, cling, avoid or take unnecessary risks? How well do you take care of your own financial needs?
2. How do you interact with your partner when it comes to money?
3. How you do you get in touch with spirit, or creativity and inspiration?
4. How are your responses to these 3 questions similar?
How To Budget: Give Yourself Some Fun Money
Give yourself some fun money in your personal budgeting. When you’re trying to figure out how to budget for the family it is important to keep in mind that every couple should have their own “fun spending money” that they choose to track how they spend or not—the choice is up to you. Of all the save money tips, this tip is one of the most frequently overlooked budgeting tips. Having your own fun money will give you a sense of 
freedom, independence and flexibility. You can choose to allocate your fun money at the beginning of each month by depositing or transferring it to your individual checking accounts. Another option is to do this weekly instead of monthly so that you’re not as apt to spend your fun money all at once. You can choose to spend your money or save it for an upcoming fun expense like a vacation or a big-ticket item.
How to Budget: Set Up a Fixed and Variable Checking Account
Set up a bank account for your fixed expenses and variable expenses. I actually learned this approach from one of my students shortly after I began teaching classes on money management for couples. This is an approach that my husband and I use and it has been incredibly effective for us.
Set up two checking accounts at your bank: one for your fixed monthly expenses for things like your mortgage, health insurance, phone bill, car insurance, debt payments that your paying on (car loans, student loans), utilities and your savings. Set up the other checking account for your variable expenses: things like groceries, gasoline, dining out, recreation, clothing, medical expenses, household purchases and miscellaneous.
Refer to your spending plan to calculate how much money needs to go into your bank accounts each month. Make it a priority to put money into your fixed checking account first and your variable checking account second. By having two separate accounts for your fixed and variable expenses you’ll never spend money that was intended for a necessary living expense like your mortgage on a fun unnecessary expense like dining out. This system also works well for self-employed professionals–all you do is transfer money into the appropriate fixed or variable bank account as it comes in.
How to Budget: Create a Spending Plan
Create a spending plan instead of a budget! A budget is static and stays the same each month. A spending plan provides you with flexibility and allows you to determine how you want to spend your money each month based on your needs and activities for that particular month.
Create a spending plan based on your spending history. Look at your spending for the previous month or the past couple of months by going through your bank statements, check registers and credit card statements. Divide your spending into these four broad categories: 1) fixed expenses, 2) variable expenses, 3) debt payments (don’t include your mortgage in debt payments–instead record it under your fixed expenses. You will, however, want to record your car loan under debt payments) and 4) savings. You might not have any money going towards savings right now, but you’ll still want to retain this category to serve as a reminder of your savings goals.
Create a spending plan based on your spending history, using your four broad categories. Itemize your individual expenses below each broad category. For example, under the category of fixed expenses you’ll list: mortgage, health insurance, phone bill, car insurance, utilities, etc. Record all your expenses on the left side of a piece of paper and on the right side list your income, your partner’s income and any income from other sources, and then get a total for all your income sources.
Make sure you work your numbers until your expenses equal your income so that your income minus your expenses equals zero. If you end up with an extra $200 after you’ve subtracted your expenses from your income, don’t just leave it as an extra $200. Assign the $200 to a spending category like savings. In order for your spending plan to really work you’ll need to refer to it once a week or at the very least, twice a month. Mark out any expenses that have been paid and calculate how much money you have remaining to make sure you have enough money to make it through to the end of the month. Your spending plan should have coffee stains on it and be well worn by the end of each month!
