How to Have a Financial Date® To Get on the Same Page With Your Partner
I developed and trademarked the unique process of Financial Dating shortly after my husband and I were married. Over a period of 
three years we had charged over $43,930 on our credit cards. We had different spending styles, no health insurance, no retirement and no clue how much money we spent each month and where it was going and we lacked a clear financial plan or direction.
Then, over the course of several months, as a way to gain control and understanding of our finances we started having weekly Financial Dates®, where we discussed our financial situation, set money goals and created an aggressive plan for eliminating our credit card debt.
How exciting it was to be on the same financial page with my husband and to be able to laser-focus our individual strengths on achieving our combined financial goals. Talk about amazing synergy and excitement in our marriage! Before having our Financial Dates® I never would have believed someone who said working on finances together could be both empowering and fun – but it truly was.
Our lives began to change dramatically. Our commitment to our Financial Dates paid off – literally, we paid off 43% of our credit card debt during our first year of Financial Dating. During our second year and a half we completely paid off all remaining credit card debt. We now pay for purchases in cash, max out our monthly contributions to our Roth retirement accounts, and have a fully funded savings account for six months of unexpected emergencies. Both of us feel more empowered and have grown closer as a result of having our Financial Dates® each month.
There are nine steps to the Financial Dating® Wealth Formula that got us where we are today. I will share four basic aspects with you to give you a general sense of the process: 1) Decide where you’ll have your Dates and create atmosphere, 2) Create connection, 3) Get financially smart and 4) Take financial action.
1. Decide Where You’ll Have Your Dates and Create Atmosphere
You don’t have to hold your dates at the desk in your office in front of the computer. Get creative and have fun! Pick an environment that is enjoyable to you. I have worked with couples that go to a favorite park, restaurant or coffee shop to have their dates. You might want to vary your location from time to time.
If you decide to meet at home think of a place in your home that is comfortable and inviting. You might want to order a carry out meal and enjoy it with a glass of wine while sitting in front of the fireplace during your Financial Date. If you have your Financial Dates at home, think about how you might create a special place in your home just for your dates.
Create a relaxing atmosphere. When my husband and I first started having our Financial Dates, I felt overwhelmed by the amount of ground we had to cover. To help ease the tension I would create a relaxing atmosphere by putting on some soft music, or lighting a candle and burning incense. This had an instant calming affect on both of us. Consider trying this for yourself. Brainstorm with your partner a list of things you could do to create a relaxing atmosphere. You’ll be surprised at how these simple actions can help you feel more relaxed.
My husband and I also held many of our first Financial Dates® hiking on a trail! I would grab the necessary financial papers, stuff them in my coat pocket, and we would discuss our financial numbers as we hiked. Hiking was a great way to release stress and tension that arose during our money conversations!
2. Create Connection
Let’s face it—talking about finances can be stressful, especially when you consider all the times you’ve set out to have a calm discussion about money, and it ends in an argument. It’s important to begin your Date feeling like you’re both on the same side. It’s important that you choose a way to connect with each other that resonates for both of you. Sometimes my husband and I would read a short inspirational story or poem and other times we would share our intentions or say a prayer out loud together.
3. Get Financially Smart
Choose a few informational excerpts from a financial book or on-line article to read out loud together. Pick something that is appropriate for your combined interests and level of understanding about finances. Give yourselves about ten minutes or so to read a few paragraphs. Make sure you allow for a few minutes of discussion time.
4. Take Financial Action
Read your goals out loud. This is a simple but very important part of your date. Identify your top five financial goals that you want to focus on achieving. Review this list of goals at the beginning of each date to keep these goals in the forefront of your mind.
You might also want to break your current goals down into monthly goals. If you do decide to create monthly goals, you’ll review them at this time as well.
Set the agenda. During this step you’ll create and write out an agenda of things you want to accomplish or discuss during your current Date.
Simple Action Steps You Can Take Now:
Discover what’s keeping you stuck in your current financial situation with your spouse. Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWed., March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
- Ask your partner if they would be willing to have a Date to talk about your finances.
- Schedule a Financial Date on your calendar!
