How to Avoid Stressful Money Conversations
Many couples use what I call the “Old Faithful” approach to talking about money. (If you’ve been to Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming you’ve probably seen the geyser called “Old Faithful.” The park rangers can predict every time Old Faithful will erupt).
They completely avoid discussing the issue, so the internal pressure gradually builds, until one of them, or both explode when a credit card bill comes in, or when they discover there’s not enough money to make it through the month or to put in savings.
After the eruption, they feel some relief, but they don’t do anything to actually prevent the next eruption from happening, so the pressure builds up again until there’s another eruption. You can almost anticipate these eruption patterns in your relationship, just like with the Old Faithful Geyser.
You need to integrate a new approach to communicating about money, where you’re talking about it on an ongoing basis and making consistent progress. You can achieve this with Financial Dating®.
Through Financial Dating®, couples learn how to: 1) take responsibility, 2) consistently talk about finances at appropriate times, 3) get proactive instead of reactive, 4) achieve a full spectrum of financial goals beyond just tracking their income and expenses and 5) create an empowering, honest and co-creative relationship.
Get proactive and learn how to have a financial Date® with your partner so that you can get on the same page to achieve your financial goals and dreams.
Not talking about money is a very North American thing. It’s one of those “off limits” topics in American culture. In the Chinese culture from which I came, it is quite acceptable to ask questions like “How much money do you make in one year?” or “What did you pay for your car?” The taboo sentiments about money have created a barrier in building relational intimacy.