What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Mojo – And You Can’t Seem to Get It Back!
You can listen to the article here.
This is an article that appeared earlier this week in a monthly column that I write for “Balance” A magazine for Montana women…
Have you ever experienced times in your life where things were unfolding with ease, and life seemed to be humming along just great when suddenly, without 
warning, your “good fortune” came to a screeching halt and you found yourself feeling stuck and stagnant?
It’s easy to feel positive and joyful when things are going your way – but it’s another thing entirely to find your way back to joy when you’re caught in a cycle of frustration and struggle. During these times it’s easy to sink deeper into self-blame, guilt and pity.
This feeling of stuck-ness could present itself in a variety of ways: Maybe you run your own business and you’ve experienced a huge flux of income and then all of a sudden clients or projects stop coming your way and you find yourself waking up in the middle of night wondering where your next “paycheck” is going to come from.
Maybe you’ve landed that new, perfect job that’s going to solve all your problems and then shortly after you realize it’s not so perfect after all. Or perhaps you’ve experienced many years of exceptional health and all of a sudden find yourself struggling with bad health, or you’ve been in a fantastic relationship that suddenly becomes less than ideal, or you go through the grief of the passing of a loved one.
So what do you do when you realize that you’ve lost your mojo and how do you get it back? A while ago I found myself struggling with this very question. I hated to admit it to myself, but I couldn’t deny it – incredibly, I was energetically and emotionally STUCK. Life had been humming along beautifully …I was experiencing dramatic leaps in my business and then all of a sudden the flow just seemed to stop.
Money stopped coming in and I found myself struggling to recreate the excitement and anticipation that I had experienced before. This in turn affected other areas of my life. I wasn’t inspired to exercise as much nor did I feel as loving or close to my family and friends. Try as I might I just couldn’t seem to shake this for myself. But with time I moved through my stuck-ness and leaped into another new level of growth in my business.
I’d like to share what I learned so that you can apply this to any situation that you find yourself stuck in and that you’re ready to shift…
One of the main reasons we get stuck is because we get caught up in an internal conversation about our circumstances that we believe is accurately describing reality, but in truth it’s just an interpretation. We’re unable to discern “what actually happened and what’s real” from the meaning that we’ve given things. And then we spiral downward as we buy into our meaning or interpretation. This ironically is how we begin to experience the exact circumstance that we wanted to avoid in the first place.
Several years ago I had an injury to what I thought was my hamstring… I couldn’t walk a quarter of a mile without experiencing pain. Everyone I talked to told me how difficult it was to heal from hamstring injuries.
I got caught up in an internal conversation that sounded something like, “I’m never going to be able to run again or go hiking- I’ll never be able to heal from this injury. Everyone says it’s really difficult, so I’ll probably be injured for the rest of my life.” I wasn’t very motivated to get help because I felt my situation was hopeless.
But then I realized that this was just an internal conversation I was having and that it wasn’t really TRUE! It was a conversation I created out of fear. So I asked myself what step I felt inspired to take – I called my chiropractor, made an appointment and the next day after the appointment I was able to walk a mile easily – and within a week I was running again!
Difficult situations often require that you surrender to the full range of the feelings and experiences that you’re having from your “stuck place.” There are times when no amount of self-help books, advice from loving friends and well-meaning spouses, tools, tips and tricks will work. Nothing seems to bring relief from your pain and struggle.
During these times you are being called to surrender and embrace the experience that you’re going through instead of trying to change it or make it into something different.
Consider this as an opportunity for you to go through it, without resisting your feelings and emotions trusting that they will eventually shift as a result of fully experiencing them. You’re probably familiar with the saying, “what you resist, persists.” So if you’re resisting your feelings – that’s when you usually will get stuck with them.
When this has happens for me I give myself permission not to have a perfect day or even a perfect week (if needed). During these times I declare, and sometimes out loud if I’m by myself, “It’s okay for this day to be imperfect – today is going to be a perfectly, imperfect day!”
What this does is that it immediately lessens my resistance to the experience that I’m having and allows my judgments about it to drop. As a result the “fog” or “funk” that I was in seems to magically lift on it’s own – before I know it my mood feels lighter and I find myself back in the flow again.
Remember, every situation is actually an opportunity to hold an internal conversation of possibility – REGARDLESS of the current circumstance is that you find yourself in. The key is to keep your attitude from being shaped by your circumstances – and instead to be determined by YOU – REGARDLESS of your external circumstance.
James Allen, the author of “As a man Thinketh” has a wonderful quote in his book, “Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.”
On the opposite side of every challenge lies the opportunity for huge breakthroughs and even greater growth as the authors of our own lives.
When we hold a future that is grim it often follows we become resigned, unmotivated and stuck in thinking that nothing will really make a difference. Conversely, it’s when we hold a future of possibility that is exciting to us and we allow our feelings and emotions to be there without resisting them that we naturally transform back to motivated action, regain flow and our mojo. This is true power.
What to Do When You’ve Lost Your Mojo – And You Can’t Seem to Get It Back! – Podcast
Have you ever experienced times in your life where things were unfolding with ease, and life seemed to be humming along just great when suddenly, without warning, your “good fortune” came to a screeching halt and you found yourself feeling stuck and stagnant?
Click below to listen to the podcast
Discover Your Friendly “Yes” To Money
I could feel my client’s voice BEAMING on the other side of the phone:
“I’ve been thinking about our work together and it’s caused me to explore my yeses and no’s around money.
What instantly comes to mind for me is my ‘unfriendly no’ in regards to money. My unfriendly no doesn’t give me any choices. My unfriendly no says ‘no’ to creating a spending plan – or a budget. My unfriendly no says that a spending plan will strangle me – that sticking to a spending plan means I’ll have to deprive myself for the rest of my life and say ‘no, no, no, no’ to everything.
The Unfriendly and Resentful “No”
My unfriendly no makes me feel deprived, angry and resentful. It falsely leads me to believe that I must resign myself to living a life of lack, that I can’t ever do anything fun. My unfriendly no is controlling and tells me that my life is going to be filled with misery and I’ll never have enough money. And because life is destined to be so miserable, and this is as good as it gets, why not splurge and live it up a little and have some fun?
My unfriendly no is a very intimate friend to my ‘unfriendly yes’ that says ‘yes’ to everything. I do this because I feel so bad that I’ve said ‘no’ and denied myself for the past several days (or hours) to myself or to my children.”
At this point Nancy paused, took a deep breath, and then went on to excitedly share:
The Supportive and Friendly “Yes”
“I’m experiencing a huge breakthrough around what a friendly yes is like. My friendly yes says that working a spending plan can create freedom for me. My friendly yes reassures me that a spending plan doesn’t have to be difficult and painful. It lets me know that it’s okay to buy clothes and necessities for my children and me. My friendly yes says ‘yes’ to life, and ‘yes’ to the unlimited possibilities of what I want to create, be and do. It gives me freedom! And my friendly yes also has a close friend as well. It is a close friend to my friendly no.
My friendly no is filled with choice, compassion and understanding. It says, ‘Let’s say no to this, but let’s say yes to these other things.’ My friendly no empowers me with the opportunity to make wise money choices so that I can experience true freedom. A friendly no can gently guide me and provide me with hope and security.
What I now realize is that I can choose to use my friendly yes and no in each moment. My friendly yes and friendly no support me in saying ‘yes’ to life. They are here to guide me to true freedom and the truest enjoyment of my money!”
* Names have been changed in this story
Your 1-Minute Action Step
Write down your responses to the following questions:
- What are the images and thoughts that come up for you when you think of saying “no” in regards to money or financial decisions?
- What are the images and thoughts that come up for you when you think of saying “yes” in regards to money or financial decisions?
- What are the internal conversations that come up around your unfriendly yes and unfriendly no?
- What are the internal conversations that come up around your friendly yes and friendly no?
- How might you become more empowered around managing money if you respond with your friendly yes and friendly no?
Train yourself to recognize when you respond with your unfriendly yes and no and choose a friendly yes or no instead.
Learn how to create a positive relationship with money so that you take the financial action you need to take Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
What Really Determines Successful Financial Action?
When it comes to money problems and getting our finances in order to create prosperity and wealth we logically conclude that the most important thing is for us to take action – or to DO something. And then we think that the action is what is going to support us in HAVING what it is that we want. We think that if we spend money according to our budget, increase our income or get rid of our debt that these actions will support us in acquiring more money. So we get determined and muster up our will power go take the action that we know we need to take.
But then we find ourselves running up against a wall when our beliefs and behaviors get in the way of taking the action that we know we need to take. We know that we “should” stick to our budget, yet we find ourselves spontaneously making large purchases on things that aren’t on our budget. We know that we “should” be able to increase our income, yet we don’t believe we actually can. As a result we don’t take action.
What Gets In the Way of Achieving Prosperity and Wealth
Our behaviors frequently get in the way of “right” action and create money problems for us. This is because we mistakenly believe that action is the source of creating results. Because we believe that action is the source of results we fail to focus on the true source of results, which is who we’re BEING.
Being is what influences the actions that we take. When I say “being”. I’m referring to what is actually operating for us at the level of our beliefs, thoughts and emotions. Let’s say you’re self-employed and you know you need to make more money – yet you also believe that it’s impossible to make more money or bring in new clients in today’s current economy.
However, you know you need to take action so you go out and make cold calls, knock on people’s doors and advertise. The problem is that you’re taking action from a place of being “It’s not possible to make money in today’s economy.” This results in a lot of action, but little to show for it.
One of my clients believed that a spending plan would deprive her of freedom and that it would always be difficult to stick to. Because of this she kept coming up with “justifiable excuses” for putting off creating her spending plan.
How To Create a Financial Breakthrough
It was until we talked about who she was “being” in regards to her spending plan that she was able to see that sticking to her spending plan could actually provide her with the freedom she truly desired and give her the ability to make more conscious choices. She had a phenomenal breakthrough and was instantly motivated into action.
If you’re taking financial action, but not getting the results you desire in your life. Take a moment to reflect on “who you are being” in regards to money. It is by looking at who you’re being that you can transform yourself from being the mouse on the proverbial hamster wheel into taking action from a place of inspiration, ease and effortlessness.
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
Wealth In All Forms, Shapes and Sizes
I went for a walk yesterday just as the sun was beginning to set and had cast its magical glow over the snowy fields and mountains. I wasn’t feeling particularly
motivated to be out but I felt like I needed to clear my head after spending a long day at the computer.
The trail contoured a steep hillside. I soon found myself at my familiar perch—a rock outcropping that overlooked the valley below. I’ve looked upon this view countless times, but something struck me on this particular evening as I witnessed the lights coming on inside the houses below and the cars traveling on distant roads.
A passage from Deepak Chopra’s book, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire, came to my mind. It reads:
“At a deeper level, there really is no boundary between selves and everything else in the world. When you touch an object, it feels solid, as though there is a distinct boundary between it and you. Physicists would say that we experience that boundary as solid because everything is made up of atoms. The solidity is the sense of atoms bumping up against atoms. But consider what an atom is. An atom has a little nucleus with a large cloud of electrons around it. There is no rigid outer shell, just an electron cloud. To visualize this, imagine a peanut in the middle of a football stadium. The peanut represents the nucleus, and the stadium represents the size of the electron cloud around the nucleus. When we touch an object, we perceive solidity when the clouds of electrons meet. However there is no solidity. Is there solidity when two clouds meet? No. They meld and separate. Something similar happens whenever you touch another object. Your energy fields (and electron clouds) meet, small portions meld and then you separate…We can see how connected we are to everything else in the physical world.”
And these words came to me: “Even though it seems we’re miles apart we are connected by our beating hearts.”
It’s easy to go about our days focusing on ourselves without recognizing our connection with others. We forget that the clerk at the grocery store is a REAL person. We forget that the people driving their cars are REAL people (especially when they cut us off in traffic!). We even fail to experience real connection with the intimate people in our lives, because that person is “just our brother” or “just our mother.” We assume we know who they are and how they act in all circumstances. When we don’t like what we see in others we have a tendency to write them off. When we do this we no longer experience a real connection with them. However, whether or not we experience our connection with them doesn’t change the fact that we are all most intimately connected.
My grandma died over a year ago at the beautiful spry age of 101. At her funeral many of the staff from the rest home approached my father to express how much his mother had meant to them. They were touched by my grandma’s sincere interest in their personal lives. They were touched by her presence. My dad on the other hand had a very different experience of his mother as he was growing up. He experienced her as someone who was extremely controlling, and he always interacted with her in a defensive manner. As a result, he never experienced a true connection with her. But that didn’t change the fact that he was connected to her.
When we think about building wealth in our lives, the first thing we tend to focus on is how we can create more money. But we can’t overlook the simple but profound wealth in our connections with people in our lives.
We are profoundly and deeply connected with one another – whether we personally experience this connection or not. To experience our deep connection with others is one of the most special forms of wealth that life has to offer. Wealth comes in all people, all forms, all shapes and all sizes.
Learn the art and science to building wealth and creating financial success…
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
Are You Making One of These Financial Mistakes In Your Marriage?
Recently, a woman asked me “Should I take your ‘Creating a Blueprint for Financial Success’ workshop?” It was a great question. She had no debt and was 
curious if the workshop would benefit her.
My answer was “yes!”
The following story explains the reasons for, “If I have no debt, why should I bother learning about financial success?”
The answer lies within three common financial mistakes:
1. Maintaining the Status Quo
The first mistake is maintaining the status quo. We tend to do the same thing we’ve always done and complain when we get the same results. Dan Kennedy, consultant to millionaires says the following about predicting personal income:
“In one years time I can tell you how much money you’ll have, if you’ll provide me with the following information:
- The balance in your bank account today.
- An analysis of how you spend your time in an average week.
- A list of the books and recordings you’ve read and listened to in the last month.
- Some information about the five people you hang out with most.
For 90% of the population the answer is “The same.” In one years time you will have the same amount of money that you have in your bank account today.
I share this story to inspire you. Whether you have debt or not, do you want to do more than just maintain your current financial state? If so, then it is important to take action and expose yourself to new ideas and concepts. Otherwise, why would you expect your financial situation to be any different one year from now?
2. Inconsistent Actions
People falsely believe that if they’ve made one really good financial move that they’ve done enough. For example, they open a retirement account and continue to invest the same amount year after year without re-evaluating, or they start an emergency savings account and put a small one-time lump sum of money in it. I teach people that the secret to making consistent progress lies in taking bite-size steps towards financial success. Consistent action over time creates success.
Focus on Progress Not Perfection. Regardless of your financial situation the important thing is to make consistent progress. As long as you’re making progress then you are moving in the right direction.
3. Not Working as a Team
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, this concept holds true. You have to work as a team with your spouse. Many couples believe their “systems” work fine. I often hear, “Oh, we’re fine! I pay the bills and my wife balances the checkbook.”
Well, I’m glad everything is just fine, I think to myself. But how much of your system is based on mutual discussion and working together as a cohesive financial team?
If you aren’t working on your finances as a team, you’re missing out on a connecting and life-changing process.
For people not in a relationship this concept can also be applied on an individual level, are you working as a “team” with yourself? Are you supportive, positive and taking consistent steps to improve your finances? Notice your internal mindset and belief systems. Do you feel pessimistic or optimistic when it comes to improving your finances? Remember, financial success begins within.
Discover how you can take control of your financial situation now…
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar onWednesday March 31st, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
3 Essential Principles to Building True Wealth Through Changing Your Money Paradigm
We’ve been taught that creating wealth requires years of personal sacrifice: to work long hours and not have time for ourselves, our 
relationships, and the things that matter most. This paradigm, or map of reality, focuses on the end result at the expense of our quality of life. Wealth is separate from our selves, something “out there” for us to strive to grasp and own.
I invite you to experience a paradigm shift, where you engage in the world of money while creating both financial wealth and a quality of richness in your being and relationships.
A New Definition of Wealth
Your efforts to gain wealth can be an authentic and holistic process — an exploration and discovery of your true self. I call this “True Wealth.”
True Wealth can be attained through:
- Setting aside time for yourself and to nurture your spirit
- Creating connecting relationships
- Taking effective financial action
Picture these as three individual circles. Each circle interlocks with the others. In the center, where all three circles join, lies True Wealth. By standing in this center, you will set aside time for self and your spirit, create rich and connecting relationships with others, and take effective financial action in the world.
The Secret to Creating Richness of Being
We can create a richness of being by connecting with spirit. Spirit is the unseen part of us that fuels our sense of aliveness, allowing us to feel the depth and fullness of life. By carving out personal time for ourselves, slowing down and listening deeply through all our senses, we can connect with spirit. By doing this we live our life in a more rewarding way and are more easily able to follow our unique blue print for creating wealth and powerful change.
Building Financial Success Through Connection With Spirit
People have many different names and definitions for what they think of as “spirit”. Whatever we call it, think of spirit as the source that can transform our lives. Wayne Dyer says “Within the dormant acorn seed lies an infinity of forests.” Think of spirit as the “Miracle Grow” for your small acorn seed dreams. By paying attention to and nurturing our selves our connection with spirit will become stronger, and we will come to know our unique blueprint for financial and personal success.
How Spirit Can Affect Your Financial Success
Often the way we handle our money is similar to the way we approach our lives -and the way we approach our lives is an indication of how we treat ourselves and how well we connect with spirit. Some people are controlling and frugal with money, and tend to approach life in a similar way. They have difficulty trusting and tend to over-think and over-plan each aspect of their lives. Not surprisingly, they may try to control how their partner spends money. They likely have a difficult time relaxing and exploring their own creativity. For them, and for all of us, in order to create a different picture, we need to become aware of how we handle our money, our relationships and our lives. By doing this we will begin to notice how, when and if we feel a connection with spirit.
Simple Action Steps You Can Take Now:
Click here to sign up for my FREE webinar on March 30th, “Personal Transformation Through Money: How to Consciously Achieve Your Money Goals And Create Financial Success in Your Life.”
You can also write out your responses to the following questions:
1. How do you handle your money? Do you worry, cling, avoid or take unnecessary risks? How well do you take care of your own financial needs?
2. How do you interact with your partner when it comes to money?
3. How you do you get in touch with spirit, or creativity and inspiration?
4. How are your responses to these 3 questions similar?
Financial Success And Prosperity is an Inside Job
It’s amazing to reflect back on how life was for me many years ago: I was newly married, I 
quit a secure job and took an adventurous two-month honeymoon in New Zealand and came back to a beautiful new home in a gorgeous part of Montana with thousands upon thousands of dollars of credit card debt!
I found myself incredibly freaked out when I arrived back home with my new husband. I desperately wanted to discover wealth building secrets so that I could not only take practical financial steps but so I could attract wealth and money as well.
During the start up phase of my private coaching practice I decided to take up a side job of landscaping gardens (i.e., read between the lines — I had acquired a part-time job as professional weeder for my mother-in-law of all things!). I would wake up in the morning and wonder if were even possible to have a successful career as a business owner and get out of the crazy debt mess that we had created.
And we did – but it didn’t happen over night. There were times when we felt like the proverbial fish out of water. There were many times my husband and I felt discouraged and disheartened.
I see clients in my private practice with the familiar sense of overwhelm that I had experienced. They feel stressed because they are burdened with student loans and credit card debt and back-taxes. Others are living paycheck to paycheck with multiple overdrafts on their bank accounts. Still others are searching for more meaning, purpose and direction in their lives as they embark on new careers.
Many people experience the voice of fear and doubt in their head – yet in spite of this, they persevere. After building a successful career and climbing out of credit card debt I now realize that a big part of my/our success was in “doing the inner work.”
In order to win in life we must be willing to do the inner work. Success isn’t just about achieving a specific desired outcome. It’s about shifting our mindsets so that we achieve our desired outcome. This applies to any struggle or challenge that you’re having – not just the financial challenges.
In order to achieve your desired goal you need to:
1. Get determined. I see people all the time who lack determination. They talk the good talk but they really don’t want to take action and do something about their situation. What they really want is to vent and complain. And then there are others who have the burning drive and conviction and you just know that they’re going to “make it” in spite of the many obstacles they encounter.
It’s the inner drive that keeps them going when the going get tough, when the bills pile up, and there’s not enough money coming in. It’s the inner determination that keeps them pushing until they’ve transformed their failures and struggles into successes.
2. Allow yourself to be a beginner. This is such a tough one for many of us. When we’re learning a new behavior (like balancing our checkbooks, tracking how we spent money, creating a spending plan, having Financial Dates with our partners, getting rid of debt or embarking on a new career) we forget to allow ourselves to be a beginner. We expect ourselves to do it perfectly and then act surprised and get discouraged when we fail.
You’ve got to be patient with yourself. It’s like the metaphor of learning how to ride a bike for the first time. It feels awkward at first. Remember to be gentle – you’re not suppose to know what you’re doing!
You will fail at times. And you know what? That’s okay – Expect it! All you need to do is stay the course until your old limiting behaviors have developed into strong, powerful habits.
3. Have a faith. It’s okay to get discouraged from time to time, but in the end you must find a way to access faith and belief in your ability to turn your situation around. If you’re frustrated and depressed all you’ll see is a dismal, gray future.
If you’re able to shift your thinking from “I’m stuck and I’ll always be stuck,” to “Anything’s possible. It’s happened for others and it can happened for me as well,” then you’ll access new insights and creative solutions that you couldn’t have seen from your negative state of mind.
If you do nothing else but implement these three inner success steps you will succeed eventually! Because financial success really is an inside job.
