Getting on the Same Financial Page With Your Partner Through Year End Retreat™ For Married Female Entrepreneurs
Most married female entrepreneurs begin to seek financial help after the financial stress has been occurring for quite some time in their marriage. What I’ve noticed is most female entrepreneurs simply don’t set aside adequate time to create a clear financial plan for their personal life with their spouses. They feel too focused and overwhelmed with trying to stay on top of their businesses (in order to generate money) that they feel like they don’t have time “for that money management stuff.” Read more
How to Fall In Love With Your Partner All Over Again for Married Female Entrepreneurs
When we find ourselves in the midst of financial stress or challenges our conversations with our spouses can often become reactive or volatile, or they can become solely centered on our business, or dealing with basic daily logistics and details. As a married female entrepreneur, I’d like to inspire you to begin to date your partner again! I teach couples how to have a Financial Date® and talk about money so that it is actually fun and exciting – and even romantic! I’d also like to inspire you to go on an actual fun, romantic date with your spouse. Read more
How Married Female Entrepreneurs Can Create an Inspired Financial Partnership™ With Their Spouses
How can you create an inspired financial partnership™ in your marriage, as a married female entrepreneur – instead of feeling like you have to handle your finances entirely on your own? As women entrepreneurs we’re used to running our personal financial life like we’re used to running our businesses. We like to have autonomy and make our own decisions.
When it comes to creating a partnership with our spouses around money – many of us have given up hope. The saying, “Been there – done that,” comes to mind. We have a history of numerous failed attempts to prove that this kind of approach simply won’t work for us. Perhaps we tried to get our partners to help with paying the bills or we’ve attempted to get them to change their spending behaviors, or we’ve tried to reign them in on their credit card 
spending – and we failed, miserably. So we conclude, “It’s not possible to get my partner to do what I want him to do so I’m going to just handle the finances myself. Or we decide to let them handle ALL the financially responsibilities – because it was too stressful for us.
Several years ago I was running a booth at a local bridal affair. I had a sign above my booth that said “love and money harmony.” I couldn’t help but notice the comments people would make as they walked by. The young brides-to-be would nudge and whisper to their mothers and say, “Look at that sign mom – Jason needs help with that!” And then they would giggle nervously.
I remember one mother of a bride-to-be came up to me and said, “ I used to handle money with my spouse but then I got smart and now I handle it all on my own. And I don’t ever have to worry about it anymore.” When she told me that I felt like she was missing out on a greater opportunity to not only transform her relationship with her husband but to also transform her financial life.
When we get on the same financial page with our partner we’re able to create an inspired financial relationship. And because we create a new context for our relationship we’re able to achieve a great deal more TOGETHER then we could have ever achieved on our own.
Learn more about how to create an inspired financial partnership™ in your marriage – sign up for my free webinar that I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Just go to Financial Dating.com/revolution to learn more.
This webinar is for all couples who are in a committed relationship and it is especially designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time.
Once again the link is Financial Dating.com/revolution. I sincerely look forward to seeing you there – this information has the power to transform your financial life
7 Mistakes Married Female Entrepreneurs Make in Their Marriage That Cause Them to Seek Financial Help
In coaching entrepreneurial women and their spouses to create financial success in their marriages I’ve noticed that there are 7 common money mistakes that married female entrepreneurs make that cause them to seek financial help.
The first mistake they make is constantly arguing with their partner about money and getting stuck in a blaming and complaining cycle – and they feel clueless as to how to get out of it.
Mistake number two is barely making enough money and feeling like they’re just scraping by each month. That begin to feel resentful that they have difficulty meeting their monthly expenses and resentful that they don’t have enough money to put toward savings, retirement funds, education funds or to put towards their big dreams and goals.
Mistake number three is that they struggle with not be able to increase their income.
Mistake number four is that they end up relying on their spouse to generate the monthly income because they don’t see themselves as being powerful money creators. They tend to see themselves more as money managers and so they rely on their partners to bring in the income difference. Eventually the main breadwinner feels resentful and this puts additional stress on the relationship.
Mistake number five is having a business that is more like a hobby. They experience inner conflict because while they are passionate about their business they’re not clear on how to generate serious income from it. They feel like they need to buckle up and get serious about their business or give it up for good.
Mistake number six is that they get stuck in perpetuating money problems because when they talk to their partner about money, they find themselves becoming reactive and frustrated because they feel like their partner isn’t supportive of their business, let alone supportive of them investing in growing their business. And they feel like their partner doesn’t take their business very seriously.
Mistake number seven is waking up in the middle of the night stressing about where the next months income is going to come from. This creates a huge drain on their ability to focus their creative energy on growing their business.
Getting on the same page with your partner makes good financial sense and business sense
The solution to these 7 money mistakes is to get on the same page with your partner. This is just as important as investing in your business. This approach can dramatically increase business income as well as improve their financial relationship with your partner.
You can learn more about how to overcome these 7 common money mistakes that entrepreneurial women make with their spouses on my free webinar that I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Just go to Financial Dating.com/revolution to learn more.
This webinar is for all couples who are in a committed relationship and it is especially designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time.
Once again the link is Financial Dating.com/revolution. I sincerely look forward to seeing you there – this information has the power to transform your financial life
Mastering the Art of Creating Money Through Personal Growth and Transformation for Married Female Entrepreneurs
Today I’m going to talk about Mastering the Art of Creating Money Through Personal Growth and Transformation for Married Female Entrepreneurs. When I began my coaching practice over five years ago, I decided I wanted to focus on and be an expert on couples and money and how to have money be something that actually brought couples closer together instead of further apart. I was inspired to do this because of an experience my husband and I went through with getting out of a huge amount of credit card debt very successful and the process brought us so much closer together as a couple not to mention and helped create stability to our finances. So when I started talking to other couples about this I had lots of people who were interested and enrolled in my programs and in my private coaching practice, and when I was working with them, initially I would focus on helping them take these practical financial action steps …how do you get rid of your debt? How do you lower your interest rates? How do you save more? How do you increase your income, your retirement and things like that…practical financial action steps.
What I noticed was that by focusing on the practical financial action steps, while that is an important piece of finances,
it is not actually the majority of what creates financial success for couples. And yet, although my couples knew what they needed to do, they knew they needed to get rid of debt, they needed to stop using their credit cards, but they weren’t really taking the actions they knew they needed to take. So I began to look further because I knew there was something else going on. What I became aware of was that is was actually the internal piece of looking at money and when I say the internal piece that was actually the important aspect was to look at who we are being when it comes to money on a deeper, internal level. I like to use the word who we are being and when I refer to that, what I’m talking about is what is really going on for us. Because we can say we are going to take a certain kind of financial action but maybe what we are really up to is we don’t believe we are ever going to get rid of our debt, or we don’t really believe we can change our spending behavior, or we think our spouse is responsible for all of our financial failures and we will never get ahead. That’s what I’m talking about, It’s like what is really going on and how are we showing up around money. So that is the tip I want to leave with you today. Instead of thinking just about the practical steps to take I want you to begin to be curious about who your being around money and a question you can ask yourself How am I creating my financial situation? A big hint here is most of us think that it’s not our fault. Even if we believe in being responsible and ultimately when we are going about our day we feel it is not our fault that we are in our particular financial situation but if we begin to get curious about how we are creating our financial situation, and when you began to ask yourself this question, answers will start coming you to inspire you and give you ideas on how you might show up differently around money; a very powerful and insightful question.
I’d like to invite you to attend my free webinar I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. Its’ called the “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Go to Financial Dating.com/revolution.
This webinar is specifically designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time.
Once again the link is Financial Dating.com/revolution. I sincerely look forward to seeing you there – this information has the power to transform your financial life
Prosperity Dating™ – The Secret to Increasing Income For Married Female Entrepreneurs
Many years ago my husband and I starting having Financial Dates® so we could talk about money and have it be something that brought us closer together instead of pushing us further apart. As a married female entrepreneur, I want to share with you my experiences for creating wealth as a couple. In the last couple of years I came up with the idea to not only have a Financial Date to talk about finances but to also have a Date where my husband and I focused on increasing income and creating prosperity in our lives.
When my husband and I first started having Financial Dates, we had thousands upon thousands of dollars in credit card debt and so we were focused on specific financial actions we needed to take. Within a couple of years we had all of our debt paid off and we started increasing savings, funding our retirement and growing our businesses. After we finally got our budget and spending plan under control I realized that we needed to begin to focus on creating money instead of just managing money.
A fun way to focus on creating more money in your marriage
I invited my husband to begin talking about how we could create more money in our lives. He was very excited about this. Actually, for some time, he had wanted support in creating more money in his business – but I was so focused on my own business, I didn’t feel like I had the time to focus on his. But when we integrated the idea of increasing our income through a Prosperity Date™ all of the sudden both of us felt excited!
The other night we had one of our most recent dates to focus on creating prosperity. We had such a wonderful time! I got out our candelabra and put some beautiful candles in it. It was towards evening and we have a living room with huge picture windows facing the mountains and I decided to have some fun with the concept of having a Prosperity Date™. So I got out the olives, crackers and cheese, put on some light music and even got out my new Financial Dating® Master Manual and Kit.
Take some time during each Date to create connection with your partner
In that kit I have some inspiration cards for activities to create a connection during a Financial Date. The inspiration connection cards come in this really beautiful gold, fabric pouch. We drew one of the connection cards. The question that we pulled was “Share your money accomplishments” – it can be an inner or outer accomplishment…. inner being a mind-set. (By the way I’ll be sharing information about my inspiration connection card deck and the Financial Dating Master Manual in my upcoming webinar – see info below).
Both of us had a lot of fun taking turns answering the question. And then we began focusing on how we could make more money in our businesses. It was so amazing! We gave ourselves an hour and ended up spending a couple of hours talking and drinking wine. It was so fantastic!
I really want to inspire you and your partner to begin doing the same thing because you can get rid of debt and begin to master and create prosperity in your finances.
I’ll be sharing more about having Prosperity Dates™ during a free webinar I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. Its’ called the “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Go to Financial Dating.com/revolution.
This webinar is specifically designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time.
Once again the link is Financial Dating.com/revolution. I sincerely look forward to seeing you there – this information has the power to transform your financial life and your relationship.
Financial Dating® Ideas for Married Female Entrepreneurs
I’m Leslie Cunningham, founder of the Financial Dating® Wealth System and Couples Money Mastery Coach for married female entrepreneurs and their spouses. I’m going to talk about some of the first couple of financial dates my husband and I had. I know a lot of women entrepreneurs struggle with how to talk about money with their partners because we are so used to being able to make our own decisions and handle money our own and we spend all day focused on our business and its frustrating when we try to talk about money with our partners and it ends up resulting in conflict. We have this monthly income that fluctuates all of the time so we have this huge need for getting on the same financial page with our partner. When we don’t talk about money with our partner we end up feeling isolated, frustrated and angry. We feel like we spend all of this time trying to grow our businesses and yet our partner doesn’t really understand or “get us.” We don’t really have the energy or ability to tolerate our partners complaints or wondering why we want to invest in our business or put certain things on our credit cards so we can grow our business. There is just a lot of conflict. So what my husband and I ended up doing, many years ago, we started having a financial date. I trademarked this term, Financial Dating®, and I have shared the story about how we started having financial dates but today I’d like to talk about some of the ideas for having your financial dates.
We always had our dates sitting in front of the computer or sitting in the office. In the very beginning we had so much debt and there was a huge degree of frustration; we could hardly talk to each other without getting into an argument. In the first few days we would literally print off the financial papers and I would stick them in my coat pocket and we would go for a hike on the trails or in the mountains around here and we would be talking about our finances or about how to get rid of our debt and some of those conversations were very stressful and sometime we even yelled when we were hiking on the trails. It was a good thing there weren’t many people around. And so I want to inspire you to begin to get creative on how you might talk about money with your partners instead of sitting around the table talking about it. To learn more tips and solutions on how to do this, I’d like to invite you to a FREE webinar I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. Its’ called the “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Go to Financial Dating.com/revolution. This webinar is specifically designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time. I look forward to seeing you there.
What is Financial Dating® for Married Women Entrepreneurs?
I’m Leslie Cunningham, founder of the Financial Dating® Wealth System and Couples Money Mastery Coach for married women entrepreneurs and their spouses. Today I’m going to tell you about getting on the same financial page with your partner through having a financial date. This actually, this idea of having a financial date, is a term I trademarked several years ago and got the federal trademark on it and it’s an idea that came to me shortly after my husband and I were married. Once we were married, I quit my secure, stable job. We then took a two month honeymoon in New Zealand and had some amazing adventures, came back home, and of course, we funded a lot of our New Zealand adventures with credit cards, came back home and bought a new home, and ended up having all of these house projects and landscaping projects which we put on the credit card.
I remember a very particular experience. I was walking out to my mailbox and flipping through the mail and I saw a credit card statement in my name and another credit card statement in my husbands name and I began to get a panicking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And I knew even though I had married the man that I loved and adored, I really didn’t have a clue of how he handled finances so I asked him if he would be willing to have a financial date so we could begin getting rid of the credit card debt we had accrued. Even though he was skeptical he was willing to do it. I really want to emphasize this. I know there are a lot of spouses out there that are skeptical but if your partner is willing to do it, that is the most important part. Just being willing to start having a date to talk about money. Now, I know at this point you don’t know much about what is involved in having a financial date but it is really important to begin talking about money but what do you do during a financial date.
I’d like to invite you to a FREE webinar I’m hosting on October 28, 2010. Its’ called the “Revolutionary Money Management Breakthrough Process: How to Permanently Move Past Money Conflict in Your Marriage Into Financial Security, Peace and Freedom.” Go to Financial Dating.com/revolution. This webinar is specifically designed to provide financial help for married female entrepreneurs who are ready to work together as a team with their spouses to master the art of making and managing money and create a prosperous lifestyle filled with abundance and free time. I look forward to seeing you there.
Extraordinary Lessons From Extraordinary Debt – Chicken Soup for The Soul
This is a story that I wrote that was published in Chicken Soup for The Soul Series: Tough Times, Tough People.
I vividly remember walking back to my house after collecting the afternoon mail, flipping through the envelopes in my hand. I saw a credit card statement, 
another credit card statement and our bank statements. It was in that moment that I felt a deep tension in the pit of my stomach.
I realized that even though I had married the man that I absolutely loved and adored, I really didn’t have a clear sense of how he handled money and how the two of us were going to blend our different approaches to handling money in our marriage. I was very organized, detailed and more frugal with money. He was more of a laid-back, free spirit type. I knew that getting on the same financial page was a key factor in creating a successful marriage and financial future.
I asked my husband if he would be willing to set up a time each week to talk about our finances and develop a plan for getting rid of our credit card debt (we had acquired over $43,300 in credit card debt over a three year period). My husband said he would be willing to do this. Admittedly, he was skeptical—but willing.
We came to refer to our weekly meetings as our Financial Dates®. We didn’t really have a clue as to what we were doing. All we knew was that we needed to give our finances undivided attention. I remember the knot-wrenched feeling I would get in my neck several hours before our designated Date.
We had so far to go – how were we ever going to get rid of our debt? We basically made things up as we went along. At the beginning of each Date we would jot down a list of what we wanted to focus on and throughout the hour we progressed through the list until most of the items had been dealt with.
Some Dates were filled with tense conversations, blaming accusations and snide remarks. Other Dates were filled with laughter, joy and creativity. However, we kept showing up for our Dates and we never gave up. What started out as a means for survival became a powerful connecting thread in our relationship. Something shifted within us.
Instead of finances becoming a source of divisive tension that pulled us apart, it became the glue that held us together as we became a unified team – creating electric synergy as we focused on the single goal of getting out of debt. We did succeed in getting rid of our debt.
I still recall the day that we excitedly marked through our last credit card payment on the chart we had created. We had finally arrived. We were free. We had been given wings to fly.
While our debt is now gone I have gained several invaluable lessons from our debt struggles that will stay with me forever.
1. We were committed to changing our situation. Even though we felt overwhelmed, uncertain and stressed about how we were going to turn things around, we were 110% fully committed to getting rid of our debt. I realize now how powerful a commitment can be. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe expressed the power of commitment so beautifully:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, rising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
2. Opportunities presented themselves during our journey as a result of our commitment. Many people won’t begin a journey or declare a goal because they can’t see the means to achieving it – so they give up. More often than not you won’t see the means of accomplishing a goal until you make a commitment and bravely begin your “hero’s journey”.
We had given ourselves four years to get out of debt – but we were able to do it in two and a half years. Creative ideas and opportunities presented themselves to us that we truly couldn’t have envisioned at the beginning of our journey. We used extra money from Christmas and birthdays to put towards our debt.
And we even sold our beloved Eurovan because we realized that the deep peace and security of being out of debt meant more to us than having the van.
3. We took full responsibility. Instead of blaming the economy or factors outside ourselves (although there were times when we got angry at each other), we were willing to accept full responsibility for creating our debt situation. Many times in the past I thought I was accepting full responsibility for my situation, when in reality, I wasn’t.
Whenever I blamed anyone outside of myself (even if it seemed completely justified in my mind), I was giving away my power to change the situation.. I ended up feeling like a victim and experienced a lot of waiting—-waiting for the economy to change, waiting for my husband to change, or waiting for a friend to change—until I could be at peace.
Now, whenever I feel a twinge of stress or reactivity I ask myself, “how am I contributing to what is happening right now (or the way this person is reacting to me)? This gives me the ultimate power to change my situation.
Even though my husband and I don’t have any guarantee against future challenges, I am left with something deep within that is unshakable and that can never ever be taken away – the memory of our past successes and the power to constantly integrate these lessons in my day-to-day life.
The Inner Approach to Manifesting Money
There is an old Cherokee saying that reveals a great deal of wisdom about manifesting money…
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
- A Cherokee legend
I remember one particular incident many, many years ago, before I began my private coaching/consulting practice, when I was driving downtown rushing to complete my errands for the day. I remember noticing the beautiful sunset and the incredible colors in the sky. And yet in spite of the beauty that surrounded me there was an internal voice that said something like, “Sure the sunset is beautiful – but that doesn’t really matter. What really matters is that you are STUCK in your life. How are you ever going to get anywhere? You got real problems to deal with…” And the voice continued on and on – round and round.
Ironically at the time I believed this inner voice was just telling me the truth about my current situation. I assumed my inner voice was the voice of reality and reason – even though it was a huge drain on my energy and mental outlook.
Another time I was feeling overwhelmed about all the credit card debt me and my husband had accumulated after we were married. And even though we were determined to pay it off I remember wondering how we would ever manage to get rid of it. Both of us had brand new start-up businesses at the time. My mind just couldn’t grasp the possibility that life could be any different from the way it currently was.
The “scared wolf” was quite loud during these particular times of my life
Many of us hear the voice of the wolf howling at our doors. We experience a deep sense of anxiety and impending doom and gloom around our current circumstances. Sometimes the pressure is so intense that it wakes us up in the middle of the night – and we wonder how we’re ever going to break through our current circumstances and manifest more money in our lives.
I used to wonder where all this internal pressure and anxiety was coming from.
For most of us, if our beliefs remain unexplored we find ourselves thinking that our external circumstances are causing the pressure and fear. We find ourselves worrying about finding a job or making enough money to get through the next month. We have very real external circumstances that we’re dealing with, and we think – that is what’s causing the pressure and stress after all!
I remember working with a client who experienced a dramatic breakthrough when she realized that SHE was the one who was creating the stress and pressure that she experienced around money. She had thought that her current circumstances were creating the pressure. In fact, she became aware that for most of her adult life she experienced pressure and fear that she wasn’t doing it right, or doing it good enough when it came to money as well as other aspects of her life.
If we are experiencing anxiety or tension it’s a sure sign that we are feeding the scared wolf. What I’ve discovered is that whatever circumstance I am facing, I can ask in the midst of it, which wolf am I feeding? Is it the wolf of joy and peace or the wolf of anger, greed, guilt, and inferiority? What I’ve noticed is that the scared wolf is very sneaky and clever.
I mistakenly take his voice to be the voice of reality. Of truth – as if he were an impartial reporter of “just the way things are.” His voice might sound like this—“People just aren’t hiring in today’s economy… It’s not possible to increase my income by this month…It’s not possible to find my dream job.”
Which wolf are you currently feeding?
It’s one thing to hear the voice of the scared wolf. It’s another thing to feed it. When I feed it I am agreeing with the scared wolf’s reality. I know that I’m feeding and agreeing with the scared wolf’s reality when I experience fear, resentment or anger.
So what can you do? It’s not a matter of getting rid of the scared wolf’s voice. That just creates resistance. It’s an opportunity to explore what you’re believing and which wolf you are about to feed. It becomes an ongoing practice, a discipline – the personal path of the warrior.
So now when I hear the bark of an scared wolf, I stop and identify the voice. I am called to create in each moment a new possibility – I can choose to feed the scared wolf or the good wolf. Either way it’s my choice. The one I choose to feed is the one who will win.
Action Steps for Manifesting Money
- Get honest about your subjective “reality” or “truth.” What is the reason you’ve been giving yourself about why you can’t achieve something that you really want right now? Which wolf are you feeding?
- Ask yourself how your subjective reality might really be resistance to manifesting what you want (remember this may require a huge stretch on your part – because that’s the nature of subjective reality – it seems so, well real!).
- Ask yourself what would happen if your subjective reality didn’t have to come to pass.
- Notice how you feel when you make this mind shift. You will notice that you are left with opportunity. From this space be willing to take the next step toward what you want – instead of putting it off. Be willing to see that you don’t need to wait any longer – and that your “reality” is merely resistance in disguise.
